Author · Speaker · Clinician
When ADHD meets love, the signals get crossed.
The forgotten conversation feels like abandonment. The shutdown looks like indifference. The reminders sound like control. Two people reaching for each other, missing every time. I wrote Crossed Signals to show couples and clinicians what’s really happening — and the way through.
The problem is not you. The problem is not your partner. The problem is the cycle.
The Work
Three rooms, one mission
For more than fifteen years I’ve sat with couples caught in the same painful loop — one partner holding everything together, the other certain that nothing they do is ever enough. The pattern almost always has a name no one had said out loud: ADHD was quietly reshaping their attachment bond.
01 — For Couples
Find each other again
Live Crossed Signals experiences built for neurodiverse relationships — private intensives, retreats, and workshops.
02 — For Therapists
See the layer underneath
Trainings that extend your EFT foundation into neurodiverse territory, so you can shift the cycle standard interventions miss.
03 — For Audiences
Talks that land
Keynotes, workshops, and media on ADHD, attachment, and what it takes for two different brains to stay close.
I haven’t been this excited about a book on ADHD in a very long time!
Melissa Orlov · Founder, ADHDmarriage.com · Author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage
THE BOOK
Crossed Signals
The first book to bring the neuroscience of ADHD and the science of attachment together through Emotionally Focused Therapy. Through the stories of four couples, you’ll see the hidden cycle that traps partners in pursuit, withdrawal, shame, and loneliness — and learn how to interrupt it.
This isn’t a book about managing symptoms or dividing the chores more fairly. It’s about the fears underneath the behavior, the biology that speeds the cycle up, and the moments of honesty that bring two people back to each other.
For Readers of Crossed Signals
Your in-book companion worksheet
The guided worksheet referenced inside the book — a way to map your unique cycle with your partner using the Crossed Signals framework. Enter your email and it’s on its way.
About
I’ve sat on both sides of this
I’m an EFT therapist, and I’m the non-ADHD partner in a neurodiverse relationship. My partner and I spent seven years lost in a cycle no one could help us name — not because our therapists weren’t skilled, but because the map didn’t exist yet.
When we finally understood how ADHD was intensifying our attachment fears, everything changed. That understanding is what I bring to every couple, every clinician, and every room I speak in.
Stay close
Be the first to know
Release news, early excerpts, and free tools from Crossed Signals — for couples and clinicians both. No noise. Just the things that help.