AUTHOR • SPEAKER • CLINICIAN
Grazel Garcia
Rewriting the narrative on ADHD, attachment, and the conversations that make or break our closest relationships.
The Work
The couples who fight the hardest are usually the ones who love the deepest. They just lost the language for it. She’s here to give it back.
ABOUT
Author.
Speaker.
Clinician.
Grazel Garcia is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Grayslate, a group practice in Los Angeles that lives at the intersection of neurodivergence and relational therapy.
She holds every major EFT certification, including EFCT, EFIT, and EFFT, and is a Certified EFT Supervisor through International Centre of Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy ICEEFT. She’s spent years in rooms where couples who love each other can’t stop hurting each other, and she got tired of watching the field ignore what was happening.
So she wrote the book.
“I got tired of watching brilliant clinicians miss what was right in front of them.”
GRAZEL GARCIA
THE BOOK
Crossed Signals
Why ADHD Turns Ordinary Conversations Into Fights and How to Finally Feel Close Again
The first book to fuse Emotionally Focused Therapy with ADHD-informed couple work. Built from hundreds of clinical hours, grounded in attachment science, and written for the couples who were told to “just communicate better” one too many times.
Release
June 2026
Foreword
Silvina Irwin
Format
Independent
Praise for Crossed Signals
Endorsements
Foreword by Silvina Irwin, Ph.D.
At long last, a book that builds bridges and provides a path through the differences that divide couples in the world of love and ADHD. Crossed Signals guides couple and clinician alike through the often-unseen realities that drive distress and undermine efforts to navigate the everyday realities of life together. This must-read resource helps couples build understanding and follow practical steps that honor each partner and see through the layers of complexity when attachment, neurology, and culture interact. Grazel Garcia’s first-hand experience as a clinician and partner brings compelling and compassionate insight to the struggles and successes found when ADHD is part of a couple’s story.
James Furrow, PhD. Couple and Family Therapy Program, Seattle University. Author of Becoming an EFT Therapist, and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy.
Grazel Garcia’s groundbreaking book, Crossed Signals, provides a powerful new lens through which to understand, then address, the complexities of relationships impacted by ADHD. By focusing on the double layering of neurology plus each partner’s attachment style, Garcia shows why so many couples impacted by ADHD continue in negatively reinforcing patterns even as they try so hard to do better. With wisdom and compassion Garcia provides readers recognizable examples, insights and actionable steps to help struggling couples get ‘unstuck.’ I haven’t been this excited about a book on ADHD in a very long time!
Melissa Orlov, Founder, ADHDmarriage.com and author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage
Crossed Signals enriches established Emotionally Focused Therapy techniques with a deep understanding of what it is like to be in a relationship impacted by neurodiversity. This important book gets to the heart of the struggle and offers a path to a much more fulfilling relationship for both partners.
Ari Tuckman, PsyD, author of ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship and The ADHD Productivity Manual
Grazel Garcia, LMFT has written a ground-breaking resource guide for mixed neurotype couples – where one partner (or both) has ADHD – who have been struggling without the essential support and information needed to understand their relationship distress. The book utilizes examples of four couples in every-day conflict situations that feel real and relatable to each partner’s position. With the helpful exercise guides that end many chapters, each partner is guided through the goals of their individual work as well as ways to navigate new conversations with each other. The book encourages partners to do their own work and take their own accountabilities, as a necessary step to clear the pathway back to compassion and connection, so they can lovingly choose each other again. Whether the reader is doing their own self-inquiry first, working through the book together as a couple, or preparing for a more informed and targeted couples therapy experience, this book is a must-have resources for everyone who is, or loves, a person with ADHD.
Dr. Lisa Blum, PsyD, Certified EFT Therapist and Supervisor and Co-founder of the EFT Therapy Collaborative in Pasadena, CA
Explore The Crossed Signals Framework
The Crossed Signals Book
For couples and clinicians who want to understand the ADHD-attachment cycle.
Therapist Trainings
For clinicians working with neurodiverse couples in sessions.
Retreats & Workshops
For couples looking for a group learning experience.
Stay close
The work doesn’t stop at the book.
Research-backed insights on ADHD, attachment, and the moments between partners that actually matter. No filler.
Speaking
Keynotes, CE workshops, and clinical trainings for people who want to get this right.
01
Crossed Signals
How ADHD traits shape attachment bonds in couples — and what EFT clinicians need to know to intervene effectively.
02
Neurodivergence & EFT
Adapting Emotionally Focused Therapy for neurodiverse couples without losing the model’s core attachment framework.
03
Hold Me Tight Retreats
Intensive couples experiences built on Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight — including destination retreats in Puerto Vallarta.